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Today, I mistakenly believed I was going to have a meaty philosophical topic for you. Given the title of today's Conway Hall Ethical Society meetup ("Are we owed a living?"), I was under the false impression that I'd finally have a chance to really dig deep and wide, on the hairy metaphysical and ethical questions of Value, Duty, Justice, Equality, and Freedom. Alas, I was sorely mistaken.
Instead today, I learned all about Cloud-Cuckoo Land. Let me tell you about Cloud-Cuckoo Land. In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, currencies like dollars and pounds are not a basic, finite unit of measure for the negotiated exchange of value between two individuals. No, not at all.
In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, dollars and pounds are tiny magic scrolls with special incantations written on them, that grant the reader of the incantation anything his heart desires. When you read the incantation, the scroll flashes out of existence in a puff of smoke, and in its place, you see the very thing you were wishing for, right there in front of you.
In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, everyone gets as many of these magic scrolls as they want, whenever they want, because the air in Cloud-Cuckoo Land is hazy and gray with mystical properties that cause the scrolls to grow thick and plentiful on the trees there, ready to be plucked whenever necessary.
In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, these magic scrolls are used to "inspire creativity", and to encourage "growth" and "productivity". Though, nobody in Cloud-Cuckoo Land would dare suggest that you think of these things as necessarily good. Indeed, many in Cloud-Cuckoo Land use these scrolls to play video games and eat Doritos -- which is also totally fine, unless it's compared to volunteering, which is the best thing ever, in Cloud-Cuckoo Land.
In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, these magical scrolls make everyone "equal", just by being available. You don't even have to read the incantations for that. In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, these scrolls also grant everyone special powers of "innovation" and "bargaining clout". These powers make everyone in Cloud-Cuckoo Land capable of all manner and variety of new inventions and creations and ideas. In Cloud-Cuckoo Land, the magic scrolls give you special insights into yourself that help you discover the